The Journey Begins

On March 15th, my little Emma, was at day care when I got a call that she was not breathing and EMS was called. I work 20 miles south and immediately rushed North. My husband was home, he was there within 10 mins. I arrived just as EMS was loading my baby into an ambulance. All we knew was she had stopped breathing and her heart had stopped, they were able to restart her heart but she was not breathing on her own. I was allowed to ride in the front seat of the ambulance as we drove with lights and sirens to St David’s Children Hospital in Austin, TX. There she was evaluated by the pediatric intensive care doctor and pediatric neurologist. Unfortunately, she has suffered catastrophic brain damage and we were told to “pray for a miracle.” On Saturday, we made the decision to remove life support on Sunday March 18th. It was the easiest and most difficult decision I have ever made. My heart broke when her heart stopped.

My husband blamed himself because he had the day off work and could have kept her home with him but decided to take her so he could do some work around the house and on his truck. I blamed myself because I chose this day care and they failed to protect my child.

Throughout my life I have had many ups and downs. There were times when I never thought the sun would shine again. In these times, I have always leaned on my family, my friends and my faith. Here I was share the struggles we face as a family and the joys we find- raw and real. There will be typos because sometimes I just can’t type. There will be tears because sometimes it’s all I can do. There will be smiles because Emma was amazing. And above all there will be joy because I choose joy.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. -Romans 8:28